I've managed to sit quietly and read through your story twice now. I enjoyed it both times! Your preamble leaves me wondering if you've had other encounters? And the opening paragraph, why you noticed nothing strange during your first visit with Kim... Subtly raising questions in the reader's mind is a good way to keep them reading... I felt the roller coaster ride to the park, as well as the heat and humidity, and the suspense about feeling a premonition as you all played. Somehow, the basketball going over the fence into the woods seems like more than random chance... And the gravelly voice must have been downright creepy! I liked the humorous ending.😃 The only addition I might have asked for would have been some details from the moss covered tombstone. Great story!😃

Replies (1)

I appreciate you reading the story and giving me your two sats 🥳 I most definitely have had more other wordly encounters (maybe I’ll do another horror piece). I never thought about why I didn’t get a weird feeling when i went with my cousin kim to pitts park the first time, good point. My other cousin not in the story still lives in Nashville, maybe he can go and take a picture of the tombstone 🪦 btw checked out your profile and some of your writing too pretty damn good!