1. This exists for at least receiving but I'm not sure about sending. 2. Communities have moderation, but NIP-72 and NIP-29, depending on the flavor. I don't think a perfect solution exists.

IMO NIP-29 Is as perfect as it gets. Idk what people want, same is the situation with polls NIP-88 is awesome. But popular devs have apathy or just don't care.