Swanky's avatar
Swanky 1 year ago
Serious question. At 36 I feel I have so much yet to learn, however I have, and do - pride myself on trying my best to be a good friend. I reach out, at the least I will send someone a text sort of "checking in" if I know the odds are good they have family / work obligations. Is it wrong of me to at least expect a reply, at any time? Undoubtedly one can't expect any timeline here, but I have to say, I feel disrespected as a friend when someone can't even bother to ever respond. 🤔 Making new social connections at 36 and living in a rural area is hard man... #asknostr #advice

Replies (8)

I think searching for new connections is hard work. And it depends a lot about the culture you live in. In societies of long working hours it is probably rather difficult to find people which want to spend their freetime.
At 37, personally, I believe a true friend does whatever it takes to reach out if I got props enough. I already ditched X, Facebook, Twitter, and all of other stuffs but Nostr though there're at least some who would try to contact and even learn Nostr. Probably, self-evaluation has got nothing to do with the way others or society perceive the indivisual, unfortunately.
I don’t think it’s wrong of you to expect a reply. I would too if I were in your shoes. But relationships and communication are a two way street. If you consistently put in the effort and are receiving nothing back, it’s time to sunset those connections and move on. Sometimes we’re connected for life, other times it’s just for a season. I hope you make the connections you’re looking!
ty for sharing your story with us. If I may give my thoughts, I'd say it depends on your friendship. How much you know each other. If you know the person very well then it means what they are like when it comes to checking-in. If you are questioning yourself whether it is wrong or not to expect a response then this came off as if you are not very certain of your bond. Let me explain why. My besties for almost a decade and over 5 yrs, sometimes we do not speak for over months or not even see each other for a year or more. However, I know for certain they are well. If I checked-in with them, I do not have to worry whether it will take them sometime to respond. Unless, if it is an emergency. We know from both side when it is an emergency. This is because I know them very well, my bond with them is secure. This is a result of how I want my friendship to be. I understand some people need constant communication which is absolutely fine too. The bottomline is it depends on how you built your friendship. To your second question, I'd say this depends on your personality. If you say it is difficult to find new social connection then it will be. What you say or believe; either way you are right. It is up to you. Finding new connections depends on few factors, are you looking for people to hang-out f2f or online connections will do? In addition, you attract like minded people. Therefore, if you are not actively going out there either online or offline, then finding new connections is next to nothing. Friendship is like finding a lover. You need to put yourself out there and what kind of friendship you are seeking. Why would people want your company? Perhaps start a hobby or something of interests. Only then you can find new connection by working on "YOU". ☺️ All best! ✌️🤗