Hey thanks for engaging thoughtfully🙏🏼. I never got a chance to respond to @purrs_for_Her's last message. I’m quite a busy guy and I can only engage so far in these online discussions before I’m needing to move back into IRL/work/etc (which happens to include being present with my amazing wife 😉). I think in order for us to find common ground we should avoid extremes. To me, the version of conditional that you put forth there is an extreme. I agree: the way you put it sounds abusive. So let’s think of it as a spectrum from rigidly conditional (unhealthy) to self-destructively unconditional (also unhealthy). Somewhere between the extreme conditional and unconditional is “healthy adult boundaries”. You said it yourself: abuse is a hard no. Ok great, that’s a healthy boundary. IMO there’s lots of room within a set of reasonable healthy adult boundaries to have a deep, spiritual, kind, and forgiving relationship where you lean into one another instead of withdraw when things aren’t perfect. That’s not rigidly conditional, and it’s also not completely unconditional because there are lines both partners know they can’t cross no matter the emotional state. To bring it full circle, in my opinion, it’s deep respect that keeps those boundaries in place as we navigate the beautiful emotional messiness of bonding with a life partner.