But how? It seems like such a simple thing but its super bad UX on all Nostr tools for some reason. Seems crazy but its totally true, lol
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This is how:
NIP-17 DMs with relays that require auth would be a decent spec. Problem is, not all clients follow it, and the most popular client is still using a spec that was deprecated nearly 2 years ago.
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Primal & Damus don't support the modern spec, nip17, they are still on the 2 year old nip04.
Has noStrudel updated yet? Last I checked, it was still on NIP-04, too.
Not sure. I think two of the largest mobile clients dropping the ball was the biggest fumble though.
NIP17 makes relays easily spammable.
How is that a good solution?
At the minimum you must accept and decrypt all DMs from anyone.
We know only one good (read: not super centralized) solution to the spam problem: payments. So if you get people to pay for DMs, problem solved.
But you won't probably, not in a social media context where everyone assumes free is the default.
Nostr has not "botched DMs" because we always knew the solution, we botched the business model, because shitposting doesn’t pay for DMs.