When you finally get into the fancy room you realize that all these “accomplished” people are the most desperate followers that you’ve ever met.
Meritocracy, its the idea that people should be in the fancy room, or not, based on their talent and effort. And in theory, I’m a huge fan of meritocracy. But in the states especially, this concept has turned into a twisted sort of status game. There is this desperation to prove one’s value by being “above” others… by getting into the room that others can’t.
I was born into that culture and at times embraced it. I desperately wanted to get into that room. I was convinced that only the best of people could be there. The smartest, the hardest working, the most insightful, and that’s what I wanted to be. I wanted to go to the fancy restaurants, the exclusive clubs, the biggest cities, the most expensive hotel, the VIP lounge.
And then it happened. I got my name on the list, I sat at the table at the fancy dinner, I met my heroes. And it broke my heart. At first of course it was quite exciting and fun. But it didn’t take long to start to notice the cracks in the facade. All these people weren’t the most hard working, the most intelligent, the most insightful… they were the most desperate. They were not there because “the cream rises to the top” they were there because they were also desperate to prove themselves.
That fancy room, it’s just a room full of people all desperate to prove that they too can be in the fancy room. Sad, and pretty sobering when you realize that description includes you. Now inclusion in the fancy room is of course very much a meritocracy, but the “merit” being tested is one’s ability to follow. It’s a test of one’s ability to pick up on what the current culture values and emulate that effectively. It’s a test of your trendiness and ability to curry favor with others.
It’s one of those things where once you see it you can’t unsee it. Now when I look at the pictures from the party in the fancy room I feel a bit embarrassed for those attendees. They don’t even realize what a confession that photo they proudly posted is.
The world is really a lot messier than it’s comfortable to acknowledge. There isn’t a room full of all of the smartest, the hardest working, the most insightful. The people that you will wind up having genuine respect for are scattered all around in all sorts of rooms. You are very luck when you occasionally meet those people. You might meet them in a fancy room, but you are just as likely to meet them on the bus.
It’s a big letdown to realize that “the fancy room” is just a fantasy. You can’t have it, because it doesn’t exist. So I’ll just be drinking with my friends at the dive bar.
