I think we're just so early that we don't see the future state. Why, after all, would the average person need a computer of all things in their home? And who would operate it for them?
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Ok this may be true if in the future there is just going to be a fully automated and optimized way for channel management.
But even in principle I think the economics of Lightning don’t really lend themselves to most people adopting it in a self-custodial way
Maybe. There may be efficiencies in terms of fees that grow, with shorter paths when you open channels, to, say, local chamber of commerce like LSP's. Why route through ACINQ's fees and routes when your local commungiven that most of us using lightningity offers cheaper shorter routes? Hard to say what comes next, but given that most of us using Lightning these days seem to use it as little more than a toy, I fon't think we can yet see where this goes.
That said, despite being skeptical of any custody, I am somewhat bullish on the fedimint model. Trust minimized federated custody with significant privacy gains, and less expectation of user configuration.
Have you tried Umbrel?
Not really interested in the Node in a Box approach of either Umbrel or Start9.
I'd rather learn how my software is configured and know how to jump in and make alterations should the need arise, and at least have a vanilla set up rather than some configuration dreamed up by a team to make things coexist for their purposes.
Same reason I can't stand Debian or Ubuntu or really most Linux distributions.
Sounds like you're an advanced user. God speed ser!