You do not have to obey a man who is slave to his own instincts.
The presupposition for the submission of the woman to the husband is that the husband will be a man of God, not a weakling narcissistic modern man of the world.
Dating and marriage are strongly built when the life to God and sainthood is the its very own fundament.
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Right this is the argument that I'm supposed to submit, just to a decent guy.
Never going to happen. Submission is death to your soul. It's not a thing that any decent human would wish for their loved ones.
Maybe this is a wrong understanding of God as some higher power above us. What if God dwelves in us, man or woman alike.
Disclaimer: I'm an atheist by upbringing, don't do Church but not a materialist either.
God inhabits in us in the sense He will bestow His grace upon us when we delve into abnegation.
Not that we, as we are, already fully reached out to Him.
That sense is misleading, because it makes one think that conversion is not needed or asked from us.
So you have missed what submission means, although I have worded that the best as I could muster.
A man to be a virtuous leader looks at the cross and understands the greatest love of all, to guide him to be the family's leader. His wife will know that and both will be devoted to sainthood.
You will always miss that if you are: a) looking for a man lacking those virtues, b) aiming to be self-sufficient and proud of yourself at every turn.