We aren’t wired to hurt each other. We are wired for connection & co-operation & when that doesn’t happen, we are damaged.
What’s important here is that everyone is damaged, not just those who survive violence/neglect but also those who inflict it.
We have a lot of data on this from both directions. One of the best predictors of health-span and lifespan is our loving connections with others. The more loving, connected relationships we have with others the longer we live and the less sick we are.
We also know that those who commit violence, solders who killed in war, slaughterhouse workers, perpetrators of domestic violence, etc. all show much worse mental health outcomes and generally reduced health-spam and lifespan.
When we experience ugly things it can feel like the world is out to get you. It’s important to remember that no one really wants to hurt you. We aren’t wired for that. It happens, but that is not who we are or what we are built for.