For the last one I remember previously think the man was insanely strong and could handle anything; because he had helped me through some really hard times in my life and was always able to handle any situation it seemed.
But as that year wore on what I realized was that he had been incredibly lucky in life and hadn't really hard to deal with hard times himself before.
Perhaps he thought by not crying he was not showing emotions.... But he was. He developed really explosive anger about extremely small petty things. I tried my best to be there for him and his family, but because I would acknowledge the sadness and emotional difficulties he started accusing me of thinking he was weak. So if I tried to help I got explosive anger turned towards me, and if I didn't help his explosive anger would turn towards our pets, belongings, and even his nephew at one point.
The end was very ugly and while I am proud of myself for trying to be there for him, I am glad it ended because it wouldn't have gotten any better. Ignoring reality and then getting violent about those who don't is not a way to demonstrate strength.
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omg. that sounds so scary. sorry you had to deal with all that... but i'm glad you got out safely.
there is a deep insecurity within a lot of guys. and a deep fear of vulnerability. i could go into a long spiel, but you said it best here:
"Perhaps he thought by not crying he was not showing emotions.... But he was."
the ego is a mask. and an unconscious mind will do whatever it takes to protect it...
again, thank you so much for sharing this part of your story <3
Thank you for your sympathy. The whole experience really taught me how strong I was because I could feel the hard feelings, then keep moving and doing what needed to be done to help the people I could around me.
But it's a big part of why I stayed single since then ๐ฅฒ all we can really control is ourselves. The first step towards growing peace in the world is protecting peace within ourselves ๐ซ