Hilarious.

Mark Manson is awesome

What? We think about the person we know best and spend the most time with? Shocking!

So if there's no such thing as admiration, where did that concept come from?

Look from another angle and you'll see that this also shows the slightest effort to stop performing and pay attention to others will put you miles ahead of the crowd. We've all had that moment after where we KNOW no one actually saw or gave a shit about the performance we were so proud of. Remember the time 1 person noticed? What did that do to your perception of the person who noticed?

I think this is saying the admiration of others is just our perception of our admiration of ourselves. Like, we think so much of ourselves that we think others admire us. The real admiration is apparently internal.

essentially seeing through your own ego and into the world (or into another) however, we're built to perform. we perform for our parents. we perform for school. we perform for our friends. we perform for our work. we perform for society. and we're constantly calculating and hiding and expressing and exploring. so how freeing and frightening it is to meet someone who wants to see the real you? and how curious and intimate it is to meet someone who isn't afraid to show you who they are? and how beautiful it is to be loved in authenticity. great thoughts. great post. :3

i will add that practicing (and it is a practice) in making that effort to stop performing has made me a much better husband and lover.

I do believe so. 🐊🫂

Simple not easy.

The car is a really a non-perfect example. But the point is important: Everyone is all the time only thinking about themselves, nobody cares about you. How you look, what you say, what you do. This is particularly important to remember in any negotiation, in any smalltalk, in any social situation really. Even if you do the dumbest thing, people will deep-inside envy you for the courage to do such dumb things – wishing they had the courage to be just as dumb as you are. Always remember that the person across from you more worried about their own performance and self-image that they have no time and no mental capacity to judge you. By shifting your focus from “trying” the other person to like you or to do what you wish, to how you can help the other person to feel respected and more significant, you can achieve your own objection much more easily. They, just like you, have a deep need to feel valuable. That is why you are so concerned about yourself, just as much as the other person is concerned about him or herself. If you then provide a genuine feeling of importance to them, they will naturally become well-intentioned toward you and your plans. If you are negotiating or trying to achieve a goal, just frame it in a way that it increases the other person’s own importance by helping you. Easier said: as soon you stop focusing on yourself and start giving your full undivided attention to the interests of others, they will ironically find you far more attractive and interesting as a partner. Let go of your need to protect your own ego and instead acknowledge the other person's perspective.

The car is a really a non-perfect example. But the point is important: Everyone is all the time only thinking about themselves, nobody cares about you. How you look, what you say, what you do. This is particularly important to remember in any negotiation, in any smalltalk, in any social situation really. Even if you do the dumbest thing, people will deep-inside envy you for the courage to do such dumb things – wishing they had the courage to be just as dumb as you are. Always remember that the person across from you more worried about their own performance and self-image that they have no time and no mental capacity to judge you. By shifting your focus from “trying” the other person to like you or to do what you wish, to how you can help the other person to feel respected and more significant, you can achieve your own objection much more easily. They, just like you, have a deep need to feel valuable. That is why you are so concerned about yourself, just as much as the other person is concerned about him or herself. If you then provide a genuine feeling of importance to them, they will naturally become well-intentioned toward you and your plans. If you are negotiating or trying to achieve a goal, just frame it in a way that it increases the other person’s own importance by helping you. Easier said: as soon you stop focusing on yourself and start giving your full undivided attention to the interests of others, they will ironically find you far more attractive and interesting as a partner. Let go of your need to protect your own ego and instead acknowledge the other person's perspective. View quoted note →

LOVE Mark Manson!

The car example is interesting when you read/listen other people's views/thoughts about this. My thought is that the guy wants to show that he is successful, but the only thing that he achieves, is that he is so unsuccessful that despite he has much money, he needs the approval of people that are not succesful by his standards (something like that). But things might change dramatically though, if a woman is the driver. Might not also. Depends... The thing is that i have never seen a couple inside a car that expensive, looking happy and i know other people say the same about this