Fresh off the presses: I wrote a new personal relay implementation that will fix nostr.
Instead of syncing notes from your web of trust (expensive, no one is looking for them there) or blasting notes to the network (pointless, borderline abusive), it looks for your outbox relays and fetches your notes from them. This means that after years of home relay fragmentation you can finally get all your notes in one place. Even better, if you run two instances they will actively copy your notes between them without any configuration other than a normal 10002.
Use the outbox model. It works.

Coracle Git
canoe
A personal relay that supports the outbox model and automatically syncs with your other relays.
