There is this old friend of mine whom I have lenghty and bumpy past with. We frequently discuss various topics of interest and there are many moments where I really enjoy our conversations. I like spending time with his him and he’s one of the few friends I have a left.
Occasionally though, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s not really engaging with my thoughts and ideas in-depth, seemingly preferring to use the topics I bring up to vent his frustrations with certain groups of people (it’s mostly Muslims, basically).
I get that he is right in certain aspects and even acknowledges the systems (media, states, NGOs, advertising, etc) driving a certain narrative around them to further the goal of replacing Whites. His experiences with most people belonging to this group were mostly negative and I suspect that some (maybe a quarter or so, pure guesstimate) if that stems from his demeanour towards them as well. Of course there’s a huge amount of aggressive, bored and often underdeveloped/uneducated young boys/men among them who are just looking for trouble.
While all that may be true and apply to various clusters of these people, I’m starting to feel as if I no longer feel the need to reach out, because I’m tired of hearing the same divide and conquer rhetoric all the time. I don’t get anything out of a short rant repeating various clichees about Arabs.
He never had the money to travel as much as I did so he didn’t have as many opportunities to meet actual Arabs or Muslims, never getting a chance to experience their hospitaly, kindness and acceptance of basically whomever they encountered. I’ve always been the long haired dude who wears shirts with symbols and creatures their faith deemed demonic and we still got along well.
Parts of my education also involved being around lots of immigrated Muslims. I was kicked off of so many schools during my teens which landed me at a secondary school with about 75% of immigrant kids. Most of them were just stupid kids hitting puberty with barely any parenting and the same went for about the remaining 20% of the Whites on that school.
The second you didn’t fall for their provocations and didn’t respond to their insults it was quite easy to talk to them and build up some respect. Once they don’t get a reaction out of you (which would enforce their warped perception that everyone’s out to get them, maybe?) you could basically talk to them and discover that most were harmless and minded their own business when they were around you.
Perhaps it is this experience that makes it difficult for me to listen to rage-fueled nothingburgers about some cultures just being incompatible with civilized life.
I don’t know how to deal with him right now.
Replies (17)
It's a quite different Middle Eastern group, imported into the US over a century ago, that wants White people and Arabs to hate and slaughter one another. That group is 10,000x more dangerous to us than Arabs or Iranians could ever be.
Do you want to know how to respond to him?
Any suggestions are welcome!
Just watching videos of people like Seyed Mohammad Marandi (the Iranian professor whose boss in Tehran was female). Kevork Almassian, Richard Medhurst, Rania Khalek etc would give your friend a different perspective of the Middle East and the different cultures and attitudes in those parts of the world.
Funnily enough I've recently been watching a German lad on YouTube who has a travel vlog biking in different parts of the world, maybe a different story for women but even the Taliban seemed friendly, making sure he was okay, giving him food, letting him camp at the Police checkpoint, the first restaurant he came to in Afghanistan the owner wouldn't take any money and said he was a guest in the country.
Not being travelled myself, such examples stop me from thinking like your friend but I also don't view the world through rose tinted spectacles and some of his grievances are probably warranted.
Speak truth.
the problem is that truth is as all or nothing proposition
there is the world we are required to believe in and the world that actually exists and the two have nothing in common and there is no in-between world
you can't reveal any truths to somebody unless they are are willing to give up on the entire reality that most people live in - that's the beauty of the system and how it is able to exist
in other words unless you think you can tell the guy that Hitler was right and all Jews should be exterminated and so on - you will never be able to explain to him why Muslims are not the problem
because the entire Muslims are the problem narrative is tied into Judaism and Christianity and Zionism and you can't separate those - you either cut the knot or you walk away - i suggest you walk away
network with one group of people who can get you ahead in life and another group of people who can understand what you're saying and keep those groups separate - sounds like your friend isn't cut out for either of those groups
i don't think it's possible to drag everybody through your life with you. i think it is much better to focus your energy on making new friends than on trying to hold on to old ones.
obviously you wouldn't want to lose old friends for no reason. if you knew somebody from childhood and they have evolved to something that is compatible with what you are now then that is a very valuable relationship, maybe even priceless. but you can't expect every relationship to be like this. most people will grow apart overtime.
i am not saying you should be antisocial - quite the opposite. you should do all you can to have as many acquaintances as possible - but you should do this to increase your options not to delude yourself into believing that your one shit option isn't shit.
@Prince AlephHmm, I hate the idea of avoiding someone because of their beliefs. In your shoes, I'd probably ask him why he says he cares so much about Arabs when they clearly have very little immediate impact on his life and when he's too lazy to actually depend on his beliefs.
Though have you considered that the whole reason he feels comfortable going on and on about retarded topics is because the thoughts and beliefs you share are equally stupid in their own unique way?
That's quite the leap from "not knowing how to deal with" to "avoiding" someone. I also never said that he's saying stupid things, but that it's just repetitive and vulgar. His life is also obviously impacted by Muslims because unchecked migration and criminal gangs are a reality, especially where he lives.
Not sure where you infer my own unique stupidity from when you don't know what we talk about.
Don't read too much into my reply. When re-reading your note, I misunderstood your statement "I’m starting to feel as if I no longer feel the need to reach out" as you saying that you were thinking of avoiding him. I apologize for the misunderstanding. Have a great day.
All good, man. 🫡
The real problem is that he is not listening to your thoughts and ideas in-depth. He just wants to talk at you with his own stream of consciousness.
The specific obsession doesn't matter as much. He could be hating on Muslims or pineapple on pizza, it doesn't matter. The real issue is that he doesn't give you equal airtime and treats you like a soundboard instead of a friend.
Unfortunately these kind of people are everywhere. Most people just want to toot their own horn. True friends that are great listeners are in short supply.
That's probably it, thanks for that insight!
Muslims worship a pederast who raped a 9 year old.
This touches on the idea that so much hate is based on a lack of understanding. Travel is a great way to broaden one's horizon... Actually encountering "the other" and humanizing them goes a long way.
I see your Sahih al-Bukhari 5134…
… and raise you Mishnah Niddah 5:4.
Yes. Both are bankrupt belief systems.
To be fair, the first of those passages is from the Hadiths; the second, the Talmud, both of which are, essentially, compilations of *commentaries* on their core materials: the Quran and the Torah.
I've noticed that the more heavily an individual, sect or tribe leans towards the commentaries, the mors evils they are likely to commit, facilitate and justify. There's a minority of Muslims and Jews who reject the alleged divinity of these works, disregarding them as apocryphal trash. Acanonical at best; at worst, anticanonical.
They tend to be more level-headed, peaceful, happy and humble. In Western societies, they integrate well within their host communities, earning the respect of those around them, rather than irreciprocally demanding it. The majority of Muslims and Jews see them as heretics, and can be quite unpleasant to them, to say the least.
