I ordered a fancy schmancy skincare serum that all the hot girlies were talking about.
I think I should have read the ingredients first…
Key ingredient is salmon semen.
It already feels weird enough to rub goo all over my face. Now I gotta do it knowing I’m getting bukkaked by the Pacific Ocean.
Also…semen in skincare? Brings me flashbacks to highschool where boys were constantly telling us gals all the snake oil benefits of their jizz in pure desperation that somebody would touch their thingies😂
Anyways, I better be glowing
Replies (50)
Sounds fishy
Lmao. It is
Semen on your face? You can find cheaper options. Natural skin cleaning without pharmaceutical companies. 😸✌️
I already got a supplier if I wanna go that route 😂😂
Omg lmfao. Today’s a shit day for me not to be able to zap people. That’s a perfect gif
It's where the stem cells come from
More so menstrual blood 😉
I lost it at Pacific Ocean Bukkake 😂
If it works, I may need to get my own salmon and start jacking😂😂
Nope 😸
Don't worry 😅 keep with your favorite supplie chain.
But in the end, we're all the same. 😇🫸🫷
Gotta get that unvaxxed shit am I right?😂
Bukakke
😂😂😂
do they have special places where the male salmon swim in and wank into a cup?
ya know i never even thought about the euphemism potential of the words "snake oil"
If that's the secret ingredient for glowing skin, then maybe you should just ask your husband for some help and save the money. 🤣
New game show title.
"Salmon jorker"
"If you see me elbow deep in my 100 gallon fish tank mind ya business"
The price of sheen
😂🌊💦🐡
no shit I actually was handed a blob of that pink goo last night. Didnt know it was salmon semen until I had already glazed my forehead. and on the skin it felt like exactly what it sounds like.
Lick it
I'm familiar lol. Does it come with a fancy magnetic caviar-like spoon? The one I saw had this. It's all the rage, but yes, I felt gross trying it out. Luckily it's so expensive I've not been offered additional facials since
You didn’t have to offer up that information😂
Stop assuming I don’t already😂
I thought I was connecting. 😔
Hell yeah
I need his baby gravy for other stuff
Maybe actual snake oil isn’t snake oil if salmon semen works
Lmao it is extra sticky. Reminds me of snail muccin which I’ve also used 😂
I just wanna shine like the top of the crystler building
😂😂😂
Making tanning lotions?
Salad dressing😂
I just picture a cosmetic company locating Ariel from the little mermaid and paying her an impossible to refuse amount of clamshells to use her little pincher fingers and rub them out personally
creepy animated scenes of Ariel with “she works hard for her money” in the background
The poor girl started sticking pinkies in their gills because the fish are getting more sick and twisted and developing asphyxiation kinks
bruh thats belle
oops amethyst sucks alogning replies in a tinely manner!
@Vitor PamplonaI don't know if you ever played fable, but it reminds me of a title you'd get in fable for doing something ridiculous.
😂😂 You better come out of that bottle looking 10 years younger, glowing like a damn lighthouse. After paying fancy-serum money for fish juice, anything less than supernatural radiance is a scam. 🐟✨🤣🫂
😂😂
I actually haven’t so I gotta check it out later
Hmmm, I am not sure the human semen is a myth... At this point in my aging journey I am down to try the salmon semen but also down for a regular fresh human facial especially if it includes the benefits before hand too 😅
If you open with that on dates, you’re gonna get a lot of good meals 😂😂😂
It’s not really salmon semen, it is human male semen, they just have to put that on the label to get it passed through regulatory approval.
Blah blah blah. I didn’t get it from this country
