Need to write 100+ dad jokes about bitcoin for a client.
One liners / jokes, rather than memes.
Please share your best and allow me to steal. π
I will zap the my top ten jokes 210 sats (and will credit you).
#asknostr #jokes #dadjoke
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Replies (133)
Not mine:
Why wonβt the government embrace #BitcoinΒ ?
They hate the idea of Proof Of Work! π
nostr:npub142nwha0lylsfy7rqa8uxeltrv6ffrn2ys2ttr8mhaz36hhu0skdq39wkj3 has you covered.
One of my fav memes by nostr:npub1pazuhetzx5w8yyt59lszeslxlywkeadnq6rncre7nlqv2uxnxuwq8c56r9
GIVE THIS MAN SOME DAD JOKES!
nostr:nevent1qqsyjn7ylugstracjxrskr3kkv9ftxfvvugas2vs7sgrexppjv2dl8czyrh4xsn28dqwe4qcz62tcsysqtq57dl2r0jsszyzn6sdc3r7nzy9zqcyqqqqqqgtspl7j
Expecting great things...
my bot has been posting bangers for a while now lol
This is good. Would classify is as a meme though.
What do you call a set of 6 miners?
Asics-pack
How do you spot a real Bitcoiner at a party?
Donβt worry, theyβll tell you. π€£ π€£ π€£
My mom asked if I was still jobless.
I said, βIβm not jobless, Mom; Iβm early.β π€£ π€£
Why did the Bitcoiner get kicked out of therapy?
He kept interrupting to say βBitcoin fixes this.β π π€£ π π€£
Eeesh. This one hits too close to home.
Same feeling
I told my wife she is like Bitcoin. She said, "Awww that's so sweet, is it because you think I'm valuable? I said, "Well, it's because I can't predict what you'll do next!" π
nostr:nprofile1qqs03ekxgdp0rczjfqrrpcn7zqtdec6lcwnpfesyxnl0f239qvege2gpp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqpz3mhxue69uhkummnw3ezummcw3ezuer9wc9dqmsh nostr:nprofile1qqszuq0hsxfcen4han2hmec9l7pktw4mvlpnhfq55dpx94xxkc44myspzdmhxw309akx7cmpd35x7um58gmnwdehqythwumn8ghj7mn0wd68ytn9v9ehjerwwvhxxcf0cxhar6 nostr:nprofile1qqsrxnwyx8knqjyf03u5ernexy2ckme9yh80am7vg4cfxvls7xtkv4czc3862 nostr:nprofile1qqspy3uspcsvjcurkfmmv62fm2lrze6ugzwwswrmqmzr40p0qmqxcfggz52y6 nostr:nprofile1qqstuyc7uxqtde2gggkxqpxnee0l7792nz64hl9zwzjglclalug27lqpzamhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuen0w4h8gctfdchxvmgpzemhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuurjd9kkzmpwdejhgj9zuhj nostr:nprofile1qqsvfr3f7p95stxqrjslnmuvsmhcxxxqt8swjdfjx5tz7zq0yms5cygpzemhxw309a6k6cnjv4kzumr0vdskcw358q6rsqg4waehxw309ajkgetw9ehx7um5wghxcctwvsxwhevn can you help me out?
Son: "Dad are we rich?"
Dad: "We are Bitcoin rich my boy"
Son: "So can we get some pizza?"
Dad: "Not this cycle, son"
I had a huge fight about Bitcoin with the wife last week. She accused me of being emotionally unavailable. I said to her, "That's not true, i just prefer cold storage." π
Id give you my 2 cents but in Canada we dont have pennies. Best I can do is 2 sats.
Why do bitcoin miners need so much water to send a bitcoin transaction? So they can fill their mempools.
XRP.
Thatβs the joke
Why did the Bitcoin go to therapy?
It had trust issues.
Why did the United States federal reserve start a bakery?
Because they know how to knead dough.
Why donβt bitcoiners eat spaghetti? They donβt like forks.
Why did the Bitcoin miner bring a ladder to work?
I mean, just look at the blockheight.
Why do bitcoin investors want a Lambo?
Because they know Ferarri is owned by Fiat
How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin?
Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.
Why did the nocoiner go to the doctor during double digit inflation?
He had a bad case of FOMO.
Forking good joke π
π€£π«‘
Why did the shitcoin go to the casino?
It heard the house always wins.
ππ€£
Superman is useless on Wednesday evening because he goes to a weekly Bitcoin meet up.
It's his Crypto-night.
Why did the Bitcoin go to therapy? It had too many emotional blocks.
How can you tell who owns bitcoin at a party?
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Why did the nocoiner avoid Bitcoin?
Cause heβs a retard.
Son: Hey dad, can I borrow ten dollars in Bitcoin?
Dad: Twenty dollars and thirteen cents? Why in God's name do you need to borrow nine dollars and sixty-seven cents?
Bitcoin has brought my family closer together over the years β¦ we live in 1-bedroom now.
What's a bitcoiner's favorite fruit?
Orange
and serious trust issues.
Why shouldnβt you bother someone who collects bitcoins?
Because theyβre mining their own business
I have a joke on Bitcoin
But it requires so much energy to get it.
What's a bitcoiner's favorite scary movie?
Scare City
Not a only a memer, but a standup comedian as well Mr corn.
the bitcoin crash won't be as bad as black friday
At least we don't have to worry about people who jump out of their basement windows.
I don't own a lot of Bitcoin, just a little bip.
LOL.
Craig wright.
A daughter shows her banker father her work on Bitcoin's lightning network to speed up transactions, in response he ask's her if she would like to hear his opinion on Bitcoin. She replies yes.
"It's worthless" her father says
"I know" She replies "But let's hear it anyway"
Noice
If Bitcoin eventually goes underβ¦
Will it go to the Crypt Oβ Currency?
A vegan bitcoin investor who owns a Tesla, does CrossFit, and refused to vote in the last election walks into a bar
The real question is, what heβs going to bring up first?
That's just cruel!
I AM FOLLOWING ANY FUNNY FUCKER WHO POSTS A JOKE.
Superman and Bitcoin
### Batman invited all the superheroes to an evening discussing bitcoin investments
Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.
But he IS a fucking joke.
I was going to tell a fiat joke instead, but it's already worthless.
Wherever you find four bitcoiners, you'll find a fifth.
Bitcoiner's breakfast menu:
Private key lime pie yoghurt
Hash rate browns
Cold storage brewed coffee
An orange
Stay humble and stack of pancakes
Wrong, it's multifig.
Valuable contribution.
UT-eggs-O and a glass of taproot water too.
Bitcoiner? I barely know 'er.
3 coins get into a bar fight, Bitcoin, Ethereum, and xmr. Bitcoin easily won because of it's decentralized nature; it wasn't even there.
Knock knock
Who's there
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say crypto
Be sure to water your seed keys
Commercial: what's in your wallet?
Me: stainless steel washers and none of your business
You really know how to kick a man when he's a clown.
UPDATE: I'm zapping my favourite 21 jokes with 210 sats!
My top pick gets 2,100 sats.
#bounty #earnbtc #freebitcoin
Q: What is a bitcoiner's favourite car brand?
A: Fiat
What day of the week do we feel most decentralized?
SAT-urday!!
nostr:nevent1qqs2qx00cp0x5k2ct4rgcyvxdfslr7fp5r4vwjne3439nklkaarpv0qqzffmj
Least favorite
What car??? I sold it to buy more bitcoin.
He identifies as not Craig Wright.
Price always pumps on Moonday.
Why do all musicians love bitcoin? Because it's sound money.
ChatGPT ?
Why did the Bitcoiner break up with his bank?
Because Lightning struck β and the relationship just couldnβt settle fast enough.
My wife says that my obsession with Bitcoin has made our relationship impossible to continue with. I've suggested we give it two weeks to see if the difficulty adjusts.
AI can't write jokes. You could prompt for hours and you won't laugh once.
Plus, it's sort of my job to write without outsourcing to ChatGPT. I'm outsourcing to real people here, and paying them for their dad jokes.
Dude, you are playing your marriage on expert mode.
Y tho?
It is impossible for someone to be that cool.
Your post is in itself a joke: you want us to write the jokes for you.
Lazy bastard...
I'm generating valuable discourse.
The Soup Nazi denied customers who didn't follow his overly stict rules, not because they were lazy (poor GIF choice).
See how comedy works?
A LOT of Upjoke jokes here. That's cool, but more nuanced jokes will win the sats!
Send me 1 bitcoin joke and I'll send you 2 back
In questionable taste, given the generally wholesome nature of dad jokes, and no doubt technically inaccurate, but here goes.
Why did the pervert make a hash of things? He was looking for minors, but ended up with a load of nonces.
Noncense.
All jokes are welcome on nostr.
The hardest part about Bitcoin dad jokes? Explaining them to people still living in the fiat world.
They say offence is the best form of defence.
What do you call the DNA in a bitcoinerβs sperm?β
A seed phrase
Insert joke about pumping...
I've got 21 million problems but the Bitc(oin) ain't one.
My wife said I never listen anymore. I told her I stopped hearing noise after I found signal in the timechain.
Why donβt Bitcoins ever get lost? They always follow the block-chain home!
Talk about a blow off top
Can you get this round? I left my wallet buried at an undisclosed location.
How did the man determine value?
He bit coin.
I ran out of gas driving to buy more Bitcoin. Now, itβs truly a gas-less transaction.
Why did the dad start mining Bitcoin?
Because he heard it was the best way to make βcentsβ out of the blockchain!
a bitcoiner walks into a bar and orders a martini. the bartender says "shaken?" to which the bitcoiner says "no... stir."
I can't zap you!
Wife: I checked our bank account and the balance is ZERO?! Didnβt you say say sold our Fiat?
Maxi Husband: No, that Fiat is still in the garage.
Chuck Norris just spent the 21,000,001st bitcoin
- How far is Bitcoin from worldwide adoption?
- Just a few blocks away! π
There were two types of money...
How do you call a semi Bitcoin celebrity?
βA kind of a miner celebrity.β
How do you comfort a friend who lost money on Bitcoin?
You just say, βHODL me.β
How does Satoshi Nakamoto stay in shape?
Lots of proof-of-work outs.
told my wife I put all our savings in Bitcoin. She said βthats not funnyβ
I said βdont worry, itβll eventually make centsβ
Ahh good ol times..I miss the Chuck Norris jokes π
Multisig hive mind for the win.
What is tiny and can't stand up?
A sat
Core blimey
this is knots
What is loud, always hot, every day hooked to the internet and does nothing more than hanging and guessing?
A miner
Why don't node runner run?
Are they afraid of lightning?
A nerd minor doesn't have much brains.
Crazy. Software in a hardware wallet that's not hot but called cold storage.
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Q: What do #Bitcoin /#BTC dads eat for breakfast? πββοΈ
A: Hash browns, obviously. π
That's all I got, lol. π€
*goes to #Bitcoin / #BTC house for dinner*
The Dad:
"I'd offer you a seat, but we just sold all our chairs & before you even ask about the chicken, there is no second breast." π
Dad: Hows Bitcoin?
U: It's going up.
Dad: SELL!!!
Planned to make more improvements to asknostr.site tonight but i was browsing the top questions and got distracted.
Great content:
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π
Oh just saw this now! Sorry about that. What were the results?
I'll post some jokes right now!