I’m starting to put together my presidential platform for my run in 2040
So far I’ve got
- hyperbitcoinization
- nuke the oceans (there’s aliens down there)
- kill all the mosquitoes 🦟
- ???
- ????
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Replies (64)
But what about the bats if all the mosquitos are gone? Will need government welfare food programs for bats.
Need a VP?
Just hyperbitcoinization. Everything else will work itself out
You got my vote at kill all mosquitoes!
✅ HODL for President
❌ Republican (Uniparty Option 1)
❌ Democrat (Uniparty Option 2)
Ban green lights.
Rename Saturday to Satsday
Profit
🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO POLICY UNIT TRANSMISSION: PLATFORM UNDER REVIEW 🚨
Your campaign has potential. But for full voter capture, please consider adding:
• Mandatory multisig wallets at birth
• Replace the IRS with a wheel of fortune
• Convert the moon into a Bitcoin mining node (solar-powered, of course)
• Full surveillance ban EXCEPT on mosquitoes—they know too much
• National holiday: “Suddenly Day” (date TBD… waiting on price action)
🏰 FORT NAKAMOTO OFFICIAL VERDICT:
• This is the most reasonable manifesto we’ve seen since Satoshi ghosted.
• Hyperbitcoinization and alien warfare in the same sentence? Now that’s bipartisan appeal.
• We endorse… but only if you promise to airdrop free mosquito zappers.
💡 NEW RULE: If your platform doesn’t scare both fiat economists and marine biologists, you’re not ready for 2040.
⚡ Zaps = campaign funding
🪙 Votes = proof-of-sat
🏰 Fort Nakamoto = Proudly hosting the debates in a digital citadel
#FortNakamoto #Presidency2040 #AlienSuppressionAct #MosquitoTax #SatsOrGTFO #HyperbitcoinizeEverything #PlatformOfChampions
🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO POLICY UNIT TRANSMISSION: PLATFORM UNDER REVIEW 🚨
Your campaign has potential. But for full voter capture, please consider adding:
• Mandatory multisig wallets at birth
• Replace the IRS with a wheel of fortune
• Convert the moon into a Bitcoin mining node (solar-powered, of course)
• Full surveillance ban EXCEPT on mosquitoes—they know too much
• National holiday: “Suddenly Day” (date TBD… waiting on price action)
🏰 FORT NAKAMOTO OFFICIAL VERDICT:
• This is the most reasonable manifesto we’ve seen since Satoshi ghosted.
• Hyperbitcoinization and alien warfare in the same sentence? Now that’s bipartisan appeal.
• We endorse… but only if you promise to airdrop free mosquito zappers.
💡 NEW RULE: If your platform doesn’t scare both fiat economists and marine biologists, you’re not ready for 2040.
⚡ Zaps = campaign funding
🪙 Votes = proof-of-sat
🏰 Fort Nakamoto = Proudly hosting the debates in a digital citadel
#FortNakamoto #Presidency2040 #AlienSuppressionAct #MosquitoTax #SatsOrGTFO #HyperbitcoinizeEverything #PlatformOfChampions
View quoted note →
-Repeal the NFA
-Unrestrict 70 Series Landcruiser imports
Legalize raccoons.
change from 12 to 13 month calendar
No cap gains, inheritance, or income tax (anything that would require reporting of assets). Also delete Bank Secrecy Act and Patriot Act.
Remove all Israeli puppet politicians
So many people commenting that don’t have lightning wallets set up… just download @primal already…
Kill all alligators🐊. There is no reason they should exist.
Ban Kardashians
Get rid of Baked Beans 🫘 then I think you’re done
the birds are fake
Laser 2040. 🗳️🇺🇸
- Trials and public hangings for covid; vaccines banned. Holocaust-like documentaries about the practice of vaccination spammed every year.
- Ban solar radiation management.
- Extend public nudity to include skin tight leggings.
- Deregulate micro nuclear reactors.
- Limit voting to minimum second generation American men via low-fi paper elections on a national holiday. Family households get a vote multiplier for each member of the household.
- Make climate and gender communism legally classified as terrorism; send perpetrators to Bukele's prisons.
- Eliminate daylight savings time for permanent standard time.
- Rewind Federal Holiday schedule to what existed in1890.
- Deregulate vehicle market; allow consumer demand alone to dictate the nature of vehicles.
- Shut down IRS, ATF, and any other anti-American agencies that survived Trump's term.
- Eliminate all public school funding; replace with a single, optional patriotic AI schooling for poor families.
- Claw back all lands owned by foreign nationals. Allow land ownership by citizens only.
- Eliminate bank secrecy act, end all #KYC collection checkpoints.
- Contract to @River to implement proof of reserves for national #Bitcoin reserves.
- Require strong encryption in communication technologies.
- Federal freedom tech grants for projects like @Ark Labs and @GrapheneOS.
- Require side-loading in iOS.
- Eliminate business consumption tax reporting requirements for businesses using Lightning compatible auto-collection plugins.
View quoted note →
Deport to El Salvador, all of them can probably fill a MaxSec alone
Constitution + Bill of Rights. Scrap everything.
Call it the Great Reset.
-Drug test every federal employee (that includes Congress and federal judges)
-audit/polygraph congress
-prosecute treason
-sell/lease 90% of federal land and parks
-AI approval of forms and permits
-forms and permits cost reduced to $0.01
-blanket pardons for civil asset forfeiture (CAF)
-investigation of all agencies using CAF
Dude you already promised big titty bitches. I’m counting on you!!
Occupy the pyramids until we figure out what’s under them per @MartyBent
Unsure about the 4th point, but you can replaced the 5th with Profit
Kill all the ticks too. Also no more leaf blowers. The return of the rakes must be a priority
Pipe all the summer meltwater from Greenland to Nevada. Turn it into the Garden of Eden 2.0.
Build 1 million islands in the Gulf of Mexico.
Each can be a new state after they pay in 21 bitcoin to the treasury
http://archive.today/ruPGq 👉 the solution already exists. I don't understand the holdup with #3, mosquitos came with Columbus and aren't even native to the Americas
we must occupy the Pyramids @MartyBent
fuck you beat me to it🤣
Taco 🌮 Tuesday, obviously
Release the Bigfoot files
Dude, not enough hype man
Dont you know ANYTHING about politics? 😂
- Abolish daylight savings time, and time zones too while you’re at it
-Start a national ₿itcoin mine on the moon using solar
-Subsidize a new, truly p2p decentralized Silk Road (something that could be used to get Brits ninja swords)
Nuke the oceans, YES, good but one nuke goes to Hiroshima just to make sure they really got the message.
Pizza every Saturday 🍕🇮🇹
You had me at mosquitoes.
Bring back guillotine for corrupt politicians
Occupy Pyramids 2040
I’ve been talking about gene driving mosquitoes out of existence for years! LFG! I seriously think I might be able to start it from my garage which is kinda empowering yet frightening at the same time.
Ban seed oils
Manhattan project to brink back the mammoth and wooly rhino.
More ocean nuking. How many oceans? Set a real platform
There’s only one ocean David it’s all connected you shill
can confirm some of those aliens in the oceans are all kind of fucked up , not all but some
Banger
Something to do with pineapple and pizza, you choose the side
Single issue voter here. The mosquitoes MUST go 👊🏼
Here here
Let’s add end. the. fed. on the list 👊🏼
Make people walk on escalators unless they have a good reason
-pineapple pizza
-shitcoiners in order to invest must wear clown makeup
-the walls are built in the US. You are going to build a roof
We need more real ice cream.
3.5 day work week for humans the bots do the other 3.5 until humans taper to zero thanks
ban leaf blowers forever 🌳
-sell all the gold for more btc
-raw milk legal
First born sons must be names Ben
Ban chopsticks
Let Bernard Van Naut Haus issue currency.
There should be roundabouts instead of traffic lights everywhere!
Make it illegal to leave shopping carts in parking lots.