25k sats to the first three people who make me laugh.
Chosen by me. Entirely subjective.
Login to reply
Replies (116)
Some of your posts suggest you're mad as a horse in a field sir
Sorry, HODL. Unlike your mouth, the joke factory is occasionally closed.
I think socialism
Has a chance under a Bitcoin standard. Immutable money leads to less inefficiencies
*tickle tickle tickle
A family walks into a talent agent’s office.
The dad steps forward — it’s Alan Greenspan, glistening in baby oil and wrapped in a velvet cloak made from shredded Atlas Shrugged pages. “We call ourselves the Fed Family. Our act? It’s got a strong fiscal policy… and even stronger positions.”
He snaps his fingers.
Ben Bernanke slithers out from behind a velvet curtain, stark naked except for a cock ring made of golden cufflinks, riding a mechanical bull named “2008.” As he bucks wildly, he’s screaming, “Inject liquidity! Inject it deep!” while flinging handfuls of foreclosure notices into the air like confetti.
Janet Yellen descends slowly from the ceiling, suspended by bondage ropes woven from shredded CBO reports. She’s wearing a corset made of macroeconomic models and pasties shaped like the Phillips Curve. She lands gracefully on all fours and begins crawling across a tarp made of uncashed Social Security checks, whispering “I like it when the labor market’s tight.”
Jerome Powell enters wearing a leather harness and dragging a wheelbarrow full of lubricated interest rates. He takes one, licks it seductively, and slides it between Bernanke’s cheeks, muttering “Soft landing? Not tonight.”
Suddenly, the lights cut to red.
Paul Volcker storms in, wearing nothing but a tie and an inflation calculator tattooed across his abs. He starts spanking Powell with a rolled-up Volcker Rule while screaming “DISINTERMEDIATION!” between grunts. Every smack sends bond yields flying into the air.
Then — from the shadows — a robed figure approaches. It’s Woodrow Wilson, but he’s not alone. He’s being led on a diamond-studded leash by a dominatrix version of the ghost of Alexander Hamilton, who whispers, “You wanted a central bank? You better earn it, daddy.”
Wilson drops to his knees, eyes wide with terror and arousal. Janet Yellen hands him a copy of the Federal Reserve Act dipped in edible gold. He starts reading it aloud, moaning every clause, while Bernanke massages him with zero-coupon bonds.
Then the orgy kicks into full gear.
Volcker's doing unspeakable things with a yield curve. Greenspan's having his nipples pinched by a tax code specialist. Yellen is being inflated and deflated on a yoga ball labeled “stimulus package,” while Powell is pegging the overnight lending rate in real time.
And just when you think it’s over, Bernanke climaxes by exploding confetti made of shredded Bear Stearns stock into the air and yelling, “WE'RE TOO BIG TO FAIL!”
They all collapse into a steaming, sweaty, synthetically-backed mortgage heap of flesh and fiscal policy.
The agent, horrified and strangely aroused, says, “…What the hell do you call that act?”
They all rise slowly, dripping in liquidity, and yell:
“THE ARISTOCRATS!”
I ain't reading all that.
I am happy for you.
Or I am sorry that happened.
This made me chuckle... 
I saw you're going to be speaking at BTC 2025 in Vegas. Too bad no one will see it, they'll be at the Taproot wizards booth.
Why are many archeologists women? Because they love digging up the past
what do you call a person responsible for milk in dubai ... a milk-sheikh
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
ETH IS ULTRA SOUND MONEY. 🤣
Here’s a Bitcoin and Covid joke.
So bitcoin walks into a bar, well tries to, but the bouncer stops it and says sorry no entry without a mask and stable value. Bitcoin rolls its eyes and says I’m immune to Covid man I’m decentralized. The bouncer laughs. You might have dodged the virus but every time someone sneezes near Wall Street you drop 20%. bitcoin shrugs, mutters something about Fiat being the real disease and vanishes before the bouncer can scan its QR code.
Why you China?
gm 😂 
My girl and I think we just invented this:
Have you ever heard of a Reverse Surprise Blowjob?
Not where the girl wakes the guy up with a bj, but where the guy wakes up the girl and is like, "Surprise, you're giving me a blowjob!"
We've been laughing sooo hard :)
Older, very wealthy black male walking around a Cadillac dealership
Salesman spots him and - very hesitantly - walks out to the lot to approach the man
Salesman says "good say sir, are you thinking about buying a Cadillac today?"
The man replies "I knows I'm buying a Cadillac today... I'm thinking about pussy."
For 25k I won't even move my belly out of the way to take a picture of something laughable.
An American tells a Russian that people in USA have the freedom of speech and that he even could go to the White House and shout: "Go to hell, Ronald Reagan!"
The Russian answers: "Oh, we also have freedom of speech. I, too, can go to Kremlin and shout: "Go to hell, Ronald Reagan!"
hehe thank you
Were you sitting on throne when you wrote that?
Amuse me peasants
Too damn true 
Dude, I didn't realize that you're actually this retarded. You can get Dave Chappelle, Richard Pryor, and George Carlin on YouTube for free. 🤷
If sex is a race, I'm undefeated.
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I'm going to make a new soap called @HODL Tallow.
When you wash with it, it gives your funny bone an orgasm.
Just Laugh! 😅
Stay humble and stack zaps ⚡️
Https://media1.tenor.com/m/FUItMRhUz3sAAAAd/chapelle-charlie-murphy.gif
They/them
@Deleted Account @Thursday 5∞ we were talking about something similar earlier…the matrix 😂😂😂
We h[e}ad this all before...
"The Expert"
Me? No. 😂
doubling his 25k if you make me laugh below my comment 😎
Flippening soon
What's worse than ants in your pants? 🐜
......Uncles
👁👄👁
You’re kinda on to something here.
A “Shower thought” from years ago in my journal:
TL;DR: Bitcoin might, in theory, enable socialism by decentralizing resource sharing, mimicking how families and tribes naturally cooperate. Socialism works in small groups due to trust, but scales poorly because selfish genes (per The Selfish Gene, Dawkins) drive competition over scarce resources. Without infinite wealth, Bitcoin’s fixed supply could fuel rivalry instead. Small-scale sharing, though, reduces stress and may boost longevity.
Could Bitcoin make socialism viable on a larger scale? It’s a provocative idea: a decentralized currency might, in theory, enable equitable resource distribution without centralized control. Socialism—where resources and production are shared collectively—often stumbles in large societies due to inefficiency, corruption, or mistrust. Yet, at a family or tribal level, it thrives naturally. Families share food, shelter, and labor without formal ledgers, driven by trust and mutual survival. Tribes, too, pool resources to ensure group resilience, a strategy that likely boosted longevity in early humans by reducing individual scarcity.
Why does this break down at scale? As Richard Dawkins argues in The Selfish Gene, our genes prioritize their own survival, pushing competition when resources are finite. Large societies amplify this, as strangers lack the trust or kinship of a tribe. Scarcity breeds rivalry, and centralized systems often mismanage or hoard wealth. Bitcoin, with its fixed supply and transparent blockchain, could theoretically bypass corruptible middlemen, letting people directly share value. Imagine a system where digital "tribes" exchange resources globally, mimicking the family model.
But here’s the catch: Bitcoin doesn’t create infinite resources. The original thought mused that socialism might evolve naturally with boundless energy or wealth—a fantasy for now. Without abundance, selfish genes still drive competition, and Bitcoin’s scarcity might even heighten it. Plus, human nature resists equal sharing beyond trusted circles. For longevity, though, small-scale socialist principles—like communal support in families—reduce stress and promote health, suggesting we might borrow from tribal wisdom rather than banking on bitcoin.
—Thank you for listening to my TED Talk. 😜
👊🏻🧡🍻
#noSir
A boy I knew in high-school was so poor he had a wooden eye with a pupil painted on it.
He had trouble socially, but I'll never forget watching him work up the nerve to ask a girl to the prom.
She had a cleft lip and she lit up when he asked.
"Would you like to got to the prom with me?" he asked.
"Would I?" She responded.
He freaked and yelled, "hair lip!" back in her face.
I wonder whatever happened to them.
😂😂😂
25K is 🌕
50k is fine but not enough, sorry 😄
😑
“You’re a monkey NOSTR, dance!”
-HODL
"hunny, what are you doing ?"
"a PoOfWork"
you can just open source your own paid entertainment
View quoted note →
Pls, Sir 🙌
This is the real adoption rate of Bitcoin.
Congrats
@HODL laugh! damn
Thank you Sir🙏💯
😂😂😂
Well here’s a joke: Ethereum
Your government uses your tax dollars efficiently.
True story…
View quoted note →
HODL made his entire identity based on a mispelling of some shit he probably he hasn't even stood by. Matter fact, he probably checks the times he sold and wonders what could've been every single morning.
I meant the short comedy video relating to paralell lines:
Go Zap Yourself
😂😂😂
Pronounce this word: honorificabilitudinitatibus
Boo - you whore
your x still loves you
Can you imagine your life as SODL?
you wake up and someone ( wife , children , pets ) sold your bitcoins , now you are no more hodl , you are fucked XDD
As an introduction:
How much does a polar bear weigh?
Enough to break the ice
Skinny guy goes to Alaska comes back a husky fucker
Repeat: Paying for social media interactions is like buying a fake friend
What did yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?
HDMI
this made me laugh
What a f….r🤦
#memeleaderboard
HODL BE LIKE GFY!
WHO ARE NOT THE WINNERS, BUT POSTED TO WIN
GFY
On reflection, a horse in a field may not be mad. But it is a bit un-stable
Best I got 😁
Why does glass taste like blood?
You are as confused as a termite in a yo-yo.
😂