I'm tired of the crazies chasing women off of Nostr.
This place doesn't need to be a sausage fest. That is your choice, anon.
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Replies (152)
I think this allegory is a smidgen hyperbolic, and entirely rhetorical but I'll assume it's being asked in good faith:
No of course I wouldn't tolerate that environment.
yeah definitely hyperbolic. I'm a bit riled up this morning so it became more hyperbolic as I wrote 😅
You clearly care deeply about this.
Artificial wombs exist and their research and development has not stopped. In theory they can be used right now, but not for uterus replacement. 
😂 Don't give them any ideas.
You don't see the women who have left, sir.
Or maybe we should just start photoshopping our dicks 🤔 Just as an option.
Well this is shite. All because some boys were brought up without the hidings they needed.
this is exactly the kind of stuff that needs to end
Nobody gives a damn who you block. You can simply remove the reading function from the client and no one will know about it, just as no one will give a fuck. This is both a plus and a minus. The advantage is that it is resistant to censorship, the disadvantage is that commercial brands will not tolerate this and simply will not use Nostr.
I don’t know if it’s Damus, or the relays I’m connected to or both, but I almost never see these crazies. The few that slip through the cracks I mute liberally 🤷🏾♂️
I hear this from a lot of npubs.
They have no idea this is going on, while individual women are struggling with it regularly.
I don't know why that is.
It does seem like there was more trolls in the past two weeks. But not like you described. What you described is much worst
Ah now that we’re talking about it. Just saw one under one of SatsMcd's memes. Muted the troll 🤷🏾♂️
Seems like they’re looking for specific keywords to interact with
Last year, whenever someone spoke of freedom of speech or muting, they would show up. Now it seems like whenever it’s related to women somehow they show up 🤷🏾♂️
Those are the new bots, yes. Or they attack anyone who replies to a particular npub or post.
The search feature on the clients they use seems to be very advanced. That and the custom feeds they’re able to generate. I wonder what apps they use
That's just the height of entitled douchebaggerry.
Yes. Nothing much we can do besides muting them as they come🤷🏾♂️
Women never know who's going to be next.
You would have to set the price high enough to be onerous, and then the normies will stay away.
It only works against someone unmotivated.
Women are getting the men who are...
more excited.
If you're a bloke and you haven't figured out how to talk to women yet, perhaps read more and post less.
I'm tired of the crazies chasing women off of Nostr.
This place doesn't need to be a sausage fest. That is your choice, anon.
View quoted note →
What! Royal is gone? Wtf. 😭
My wife's on here and has been blatantly and aggressively hit on by several dudes. She's pretty tired of it.
Is there a way to make a private account?
That way you can be more selective of who follows you?
Private accounts could also have remove follower option. #asknostr
Is the mute button not effective?
They don't want women to "improve". They want them to submit. Nothing angers people more than a woman who DOESN'T back down and give up.
Omg!!!! 🤣😂
This is sad. I think our focus on censorship resistance may come at the cost of creating a welcoming and friendly space. I'm not suggesting we ditch the goal of censorship resistance, but we should focus more on the tools to make the experience for those likely to be harassed (read women) better.
Read the name as douch fucker
I think it's a personality difference fundamentally. Since the OP was about women specifically being chased off, I'll go ahead and give a hot take that's guaranteed to make me some enemies 😅
Feminine antisocial behavior (gossip, insults, reputation savaging, cliques, social shaming, ostracizing, etc) scales extremely well on social media. Masculine temperaments are less effected by these types of attacks. There's a biological reason for that.
Men are often valued for what they can produce materially. If a man has talent and skills, he can provide value and always find a market to support himself, even if he's an asshole and most people don't like him. Therefore men care less about what other people think of them, and more about their own ability to produce, provide and protect.
Women are often valued for their nurturing and caring ability. Both men and women's skills are equally valuable and essential. But women are dependent on a social support network for their physical well-being, while they're busy using their nurturing abilities to provide the long-term survival of the species. Less obviously so in the modern economy, but that's still the biological reality. That makes social rejection much more threatening to women, because it's historically been a matter of life and death.
My working hypothesis is that bringing women into public institutions and politics over the past century is the underlying pressure behind the increasing trend toward censorship, safety culture, and other aspects of feminine temperament that have become pervasive.
Because of that, I don't expect women to ever gravitate toward fully open and unrestricted social platforms. I would expect that the more women move to a platform, the more there will be increasing calls for censorship, self-censorship, and ways to filter and restrict speech.
*to be clear, temperament overlaps significantly between men and women, and what generalizes to women also applies to men with a more feminine temperament, and vice versa
Yes, you are. 😏
Kind of like real life. LOL
But what does that say about the state of women if their best defense is to avoid the source of the problem? What does that say about the source of the problem?
I take things in the spirit they are given, you don't seem like a malicious person. I don't necessarily disagree with your hypothesis either.
The effect on politics you mentioned, I would have to think about.
I appreciate that, and I certainly don't mean it in a malicious way. It's not a value judgement, just a theory based on observation in an attempt to understand the world better.
You sound like a sniveling little faggot. Real men will always prefer real women.
That's respectable.
Gross. Maybe it's better that my wife doesn't start to use Nostr...
That sucks. She was a welcome presence here.
I've read this whole thread and it just makes me sad.
🫂
But don’t you know, anyone who backs them amidst persistent, unhinged, belligerent attacks is a BETACUCKSIMP 😩
Negative.
I've thought about this, yet being respected and respecting online others is a trait that we're missing a bit of, when using all social medias. I'm quite a direct person offline, I've put others respect before my own. Quite difficult to do it as part of a job. However, If you want a private meeting or message, contacting the person account privately and from public eyes is an option. If the account it's disrespectful to you, then report it, mute the account, step away from interacting.
Basically be mindful of what you post on social medias.
Says... Me🙄🤣
Now you've made me imagine giant She-Hulks punching the shit out of baby-men with balance issues 🤣
"YOU NEED MOMMIES MILK, DON'CHA LITTLE TYKE"
That's fair 💯🤙🏽🍀
Bro wha? 
View quoted note →
A century ago, it was commonly believed that men were incapable of creating artificial boobs and asses or developing computers that could outperform the female brain. However, with the advent of silicone and ChatGPT, these ideas have been proven false. The development of an artificial womb is the next logical step. It is important to acknowledge that women may feel resentful towards men for their divine nature, as well as for the potential loss of maternity leave and alimony. Men will have to save the world again and establish a new order through a great gender war. This will involve wiping out all mutants and creating an Eden with sex robots and AI that will never make us eat bitten apples.
Women, realizing they have already lost this war in the future, try to strike at men in the present by sabotaging the creation of the artificial womb and raising the price of Onlyfans subscriptions.
By wasting time and money now, we risk losing the war against women mutants-hermaphrodites due to their large numbers and physical strength.
We should not consider granting women any special rights on social media. Let's stand up for equality, which is not only the right thing to do but also essential for our victory. Equality, equality, and more equality.
#equality #nostr #genderwar #25thcentury #future #mutantwomen #sexrobots #artificialwomb #cyberdicks
View quoted note →
Something to think about for sure.
Hate to see it happen but I am usually too late to be of any help.
I fear for the two women having recently joined my work place to be grossed out and away in no time, so I try to bond with them as much as I can to offer them some anchor to help them if something does go south :/
Makes me sad - and mad.
Yes, I have a sausage. Yes, I am a horniboi sometimes. But goddamnit, even I know how to treat others nice independent of their identity. So unfortunate to see that other's just... can't. :/
I... Don't understand this.
Not sure what you're seeing that would make people leave, but there is a price for freedom of speech. You just can't have it both ways. Even on completely controlled platforms, things slip through all the time. Nostr's tools will get better, but there will always be things people don't want to see. If people can't handle that, it's their problem.
The men's skinny bodies will be strengthened by an exoskeleton. This will allow to fight off women for a while, besides, melee combat is more of an exception, because men can easily control the sky thanks to neuro-implants and drones. Women, of course, can teach birds to carry explosives, so we must destroy all birds. Now solar panels and wind turbines are helping us with this task.
I'm sorry, this shits funny. I must be retarded.
Goodness gracious. You recieved all that?
Have you heard of #wormhole, it has end to end encrypt. That may be of interest to you.
I haven't. Thx for the heads up. 🤙🏽💯
Same.
Now I imagine the baby-men calling for backup and a swarm of drones blacken the skies. The battlefield filled with the buz of their motors. Suddenly the She-Hulk women whistle, ringing through the hum, and a swarm of forest creatures erupt from everywhere in response.
Squirrels throwing nuts into the turbines, deer going head to head with the Spot bots, and the Emus committed to guerilla warfare with their flank.
I went too far with that 🤣
April 1st 🤭
Typical. Selfish. You think like a moron.
Some guy
There are multiple developers working on solving for this problem, but they can't fly. Might take a few more months.
Yes, just need to encrypt the notes.
Nobody has built it, yet, tho.
One of the first women on Nostr.
It is not persistent, no.
Yeah, I know. Unfortunately.
It's the first time anyone has tried to make a platform aimed at allowing sex workers maximum access to strange men and other women maximum limitation to strange men.
That's not impossible, but complicated.
Women tend to avoid people they don't like.
It seems like a web of trust approach could be useful. For instance, you decide to trust fellow users X to identify who's a creep, and hence automatically adopt their creep block list. Maybe something like this already exists?
Nostr was created with the important goal of ensuring that everyone can write. The next step is to ensure that everyone can control what they read (through persistent muting, lists/algos, and intelligent filtering) or have some privacy (through encryption).
It is coming. The devs just needed us to ask nicely, so that they are alerted to the issue and give it more priority.
I actually am a bit cheered up, to see that anyone cared and there is some interest in correcting the underlying problem.
They be like, Bros before hoes.
Yeah, I know. Tiresome.
Its not a exclusivity a nostr problem.
This is one of the reasons people, not only women choose to be nyms on the internet. Its safer and less bullshit to deal with. Downside is nym’s inability to share selfies. I do recommend everyone to try to live a little as a nym, its a peaceful existence.
If a woman is reduced to protesting gross, aggressive, or obsessive misbehavior, we've already missed the mark.
And there is too much pressure on women here to "be nice, don't mute, stay friendly". So, women will be upset and just keep engaging because they don't want to be That Mean Girl.
Men misbehaving should result in those men feeling lonely and upset on Nostr, not the women. Too much onus on the women.
Yes, and I can see some of it in cache, but she deleted it and I respect that.
So Royas gone? What a shame.
Hope she’ll be back someday
We lost another female npub and I'm tired of it.
All women -- no exceptions -- are welcome on Nostr and should be able to have a pleasant and productive experience on here.
🫂 Most of the guys on here are actually pretty great. I try to remember that when one starts misbehaving.
Yes it must be the men's fault that a woman made her own choice of leaving the platform. What can we do better oh wise one?
what if the woman was a child rapist and drank fetus blood every day for sustenance, would she be super welcomed just because shes a woman?
OK. I get that. But... I still don't understand why it's other guys' fault? Sure, creepy, gross d-bags are the ones at fault for their behavior. Why is that the responsibility of any other adult to do anything about that? You're an adult. They are adults. Be an adult?
To be fair, not all of us are even aware that women are being treated this way. I hear rumblings of it, but I rarely see it in my feed.
If it was, my lady, I would defend your honour to the utmost.
The tools will get better if we demand better tools. That is what I am doing.
Do not discourage people from asking for something better, just because the result will be imperfect. Do not shame women for complaining about being mistreated or tell them they should just get used to the abuse or GTFO.
If we don’t look out for each other, who will? ❤️
Welcome to reality, sir.
🥺
Yes, but it doesn't let us select whose opinion to trust. That's a next-step, I suppose.
IMO it's a necessary step, because each group is uniquely positioned to identify content that is unwanted to that group.
Most women actually aren't nyms (which isn't just about not posting pictures), as that's emotionally taxing.
They simply avoid open spaces, stay on something with read-blocking or private accounts, or stick to platforms men generally avoid, like Pinterest.
Nostr actually has the opportunity to create an open space that is overtly female-friendly because we have a stronger data construct.
This is turning out to be a great chance for expanding my mute list.
Thanks for outing yourselves, asshats.
Fair, cyber bullying and harassment is a huge issue in our time of day.
You are free to think that, yes.
Ah, sucks that she left. (Would be nice to have more non-sex worker women on Nostr, there of course are some but more would be nice. Because, well I like normal people 😂)
On the flip side people ought to block stuff/people they don't like. I'm not a fan of when people cop out.
Sad and deeply concerning 😔
Exactly. 💯
Reminder to everyone that onboarding everyone onto #Nostr also includes women, if that wasn't obvious to you already
I'm tired of the crazies chasing women off of Nostr.
This place doesn't need to be a sausage fest. That is your choice, anon.
View quoted note →
Men bad
Aren't we all a little crazy?
Yes, I am. I don't really get why anyone who has been online for a while can conclude differently.
Harassment online is terrible, but... I can't ever take it to heart or too seriously. That's likely because I'm a man, but, I don't see why it has to effect people so much. Gross stuff should be squashed and then forgotten. Why is it more complicated than that?
No, dickheads bad.
Well I never really intended to use nostr as a dating website thats for sure.
Typically men dominate on "techier" platforms and non mainstream media so we find like minded innovators on here, sometimes there are women too but not as often.
Thats just the reality of the situation.
Of course nostr opened the access to non humans too.
Now its a new ballgame for everyone.
Point being, there are crazies everywhere.
If its a numbers game, then its a numbers game, oh well.
Yes, I agree they mostly aren’t nyms. If you get to 10k followers you have a lot of new frens and some morons who hate you for no reason. If you share more about yourself like your photos you will have wider reach, your notes will thrive but also you will attract more trolls. I see no solution for that apart from a client with ONLY FRIENDS REPLIES. You cannot have free speech client and no idiots in replies. Its either all people or selected few. But then again, if there is enough people who want something closer to ig/tiktok/fb experience where a client would gurd you (and also disappear some replies you would like to see) then someone will build it. Maybe some AI dvm algo that disappears only replies you dont like and learn from your mutes? 🤷🏻♂️
Sex-workers are more used to having assholes treat them like crap, but no woman should have to put up with that.
We can do better than that.
You are asking me why women can't just be more like men.
Yes, it's all buildable, but someone has to step up and ask for it to be built, so that the devs know that there is some demand for it.
I am stepping up.
Want.
Please build.
There is only few thousands of us here that pay lets be honest. There need to be enough people who would pay bounty for such a client. There is only few devs and they do 99 things at the same time for some reason 😂
But yeah you could build anything here.
Yeah I guess it comes down to how the sexes differ in how they handle these things.
Guys definitely get harassment as well but from what you and others have said it doesn't seem like the offenders are as tenacious about it with men. My guess is there's a sexual tension aspect to it that inclines these guys to be more aggressive with women.
Guys might respond at first but quickly block/ignore because the risk vs. Return is so low and the offensers don't persue it because they're not feeding off their internal sexual desire in this case.
Women seem to get the rougher deal because the sexual element seems to intensify proceedings significantly.
I also wonder if there's a bit of a hazing element to it? Men (especially younger guys) tend to bully and harass each other to establish dominance/pecking order and I wonder if this behaviour is bleeding into their interactions with women here as well.
Just a thought. At least for the genuine (although mean) actors.
My big worry is that women might lean too far into the victim response. That response has been overused by bad actors so much that it causes those of us who don't do this sort of thing to tune out totally, even when it's genuine. That being said, I understand totally why women don't want to be exposed to this behaviour and why there might be a desire for a remedy for it.
I hope it can be resolved somehow. If I see it I'll definitely do my part and call it out. Problem is that I rarely see it.
Excellent point.
Mind sending me that mute list?
It is incredible to me how misguided people can become. You've obviously got a lot of growing up to do and I pray that you do that sooner than later.
Humanity will be better off when/if you better yourself, grow your mindset and challenge your current beliefs with tgose you might not be considering at the moment.
Trust me when I say that you'll grow exponentially if you ask yourself "How might I be wrong about this?"
I feel the same way, who? Everyone seems to be complaining but no examples are given.
They think women are good for couple of things as if they’re objects to be owned
My April Fool's Day is over. I'll answer next year.
Multiple devs are now on it.
People will pay for clients when there is content they want to see and people want to see human females. Even women like to see women.
You will also get more men on here, if they can safely suggest the protocol to the women they know because they can then move their entire social circle.
I think some men are aroused by harrassing women and that's why they keep doing it so relentlessly, or why they harrass and then flash.
It's public data. You can view it on listr.lol or Nostrudel.
noStrudel
A simple nostr web client focused on exploring nostr
You are the best.
Yeah. Unfortunately.
That's a good point I hadn't thought of.
You probably aren't exposed to antagonistic perverts. I want to be you, when I grow up. 😂
Most of the responses from us men are making light of women wanting to be taken seriously.
We have mothers, daughters, wives, and sisters.
And we’ve been conditioned to think and feel this way.
Trannies arent women you fucking retard faggot
How is telling the truth trolling you fucking dumbass?
Lesson of the day, don't respond to trolls. They will consistently come after you for attention.
Yes, mute-max.
And trolls will see other men trolling and get it line. Troll train.
If you are spending more time blocking on nostr than with friends, the individual must have some real social problems. It sounds like it isn't the environment but the individuals lack to deal with the environment.
Do you have an example?
A possible feature would be for mutes to be included in your filters when you request notes from a relay.
Relay requests more or less say "show me notes from these people."
If we could also say "don't show me notes from these people" at the same time, and relays respected that, that would be a big step forward.
What are the crazies doing?
The internet is not a "safe space." People need to have tougher skin. Censorship is not the answer. Being tolerant and unoffendable is a better way to grow and be ready for the real world. Also helps to get to the bottom of topics rather than just getting offended and turning off.
But maybe there are some crazies doing things that we don't know. Would be good to know what they are, if you can share!
No I'm definitely not.
You can certainly try! I would love to be me when I grow up too!
My point.
Are you high?
The biological reality is that men give women unwanted attention for reasons that have nothing to do with her opinions.
We need the ability to subscribe to another person’s mute list.
We could create bot accounts as targets! Like Ashley-Madison. Waste the creepers time, upsetting a bot.
Plenty of training material about, especially in fediverse if we need troll-bait.
How to monetarise?
This will happen sometimes, for a certainty.
ML, like statistics, is all about the most efficient way to predict Y knowing X1, X2, X3 etc.
If you're training a filter to block people whose musical tastes you don't like, and that is highly correlated with being black, the filter will totally use "black" as a shortcut to improve its accuracy. There are countermeasures, but the model can evolve new proxy variables for race much faster than its trainer can construct new reward schedules to penalize those.
Cost of doing business, I'm afraid. Err on the side of tolerance, as much as your individual patience can stand.
Some people may tolerate this for now, but wait till organized hate raids occur and hundreds if not thousands of npubs spam your DM inbox and every single note... Best be prepared for that type of insanity because this is only step 1 I surmise.
Yes, they often travel in swarms. You say one thing to anger one person or to trigger some algo and BOOM!
We have this now, in smaller numbers, with antagonistic chatbots that show up and "agree and amplify" one side of an argument. Mute one and 5 others show up.
I've given up on reading from free relays, for that reason.
Oh. My dude. Yes. I hadn't even thought of taking that tact, and yet...
Your summary is pretty poignant. It highlights my gut feelings of disgust at the insistence of any sort of "safety" in the system. The only safety I want is keeping my nsec private. And that's on me.
If you want free speech that is unfettered by state constraints, you WILL be exposed to tons you find gross, extreme, disgusting, etc. You cannot have things both ways. You can build your walked gardens, but that is just highlighting your own inability to overcome what others are foisting on you. Not being boldly yourself in the face of things you can't stand is a personal foible. I won't support that, especially since I know many people really are much stronger than they give themselves credit for.
I feel the same way. Free speech is meaningless if it has exceptions. Nobody objects to speech they agree with, appreciate, or are indifferent to. Free speech only matters in relation to speech you personally disagree with, don't like, find offensive, or feel threatened by.
The thing about speech, and what makes free speech not only ideal but essential, is that it's... just speech. Not matter what the speech is, the words don't actually do anything. They're just words. If you don't react to the words, it's as if they never happened. Life goes on.
And it's perfectly fine to disregard speech. You don't have to read a book you don't want to read. You don't have to have a conversation with someone you don't want to talk to. You can literally ignore every word they say, or just turn around and walk away. They can scream at you, and nothing has actually happened. You can just keep walking.
That's how I personally feel. I find the concept of "hate speech" unrelatable.
And all that applies ten times more online, where the person is somewhere else on the globe and not even close enough for any possibility of actual harm occuring. You can literally close your eyes or power off the screen and the words are gone.
If you want to take steps to filter the speech you see and interact with personally, that's fine. That's your privilege. But as soon as you start discussing how the group can do something to limit how many people are exposed to certain speech or how to punish someone for some kind of speech, I'm not on board with that.
When I was in my early teens, women dominated software and men dominated hardware. I was too young to lug around 50lb disk drives and other hardware stuff, so I got started in software with the ladies. I took a typing class - also still mostly ladies. It proved invaluable.
Like weaving and sewing (and unlike physically moving heavy objects), these skills move back and forth in popularity with the sexes. In the 18th century, tailoring and dressmaking (as opposed to fitting) was typically a male profession. Weaving was a male profession - unless industrialization revolutionized the trade.
Men doing hardware and ladies doing software.
No, lol, they have none.
I took the time to go through the logs, and it was the exact opposite - the woman was chasing the dude and harassing him, and he of course responded every single time, she tried to dogpile on him and one of the friends for the dogpile bailed out, exhausted by the toxic environment. Then the harassing WOMAN played the victim card once again, and all hell broke lose.
Hilarious shit.
Congrats, they came back.
Women only relays?
Wow first time I seen this post everyone is welcome on #Nostr it's terrible this had to brought up I hope we speak on the subject no more, women are just if not more intelligent and witty then men! I stand with my female compatriots lol